“Show me a great man and I will show you a monkey of his own ideals.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
This ridiculous thing called the “self”, this greedy thing called the “I” wants to somehow persist and perpetuate itself by presiding over its own dissolution. Every yoga practice is your mind playing tricks on you. Every meditation technique is deceiving you.
You will not and cannot understand. This is your very real tragedy. The stranglehold of “thought culture” stops your uniqueness from blossoming. You always desire to become someone other than what you are. This activity predominates in every area of your life. Which is why I repeat that all schools, all universities, all education, all yoga teachers, all yoga classes, all meditations and their gurus, all organizations, all colleges, all institutes that are trying to change you into a better person, are nothing more than concentration camps.
Concentration camps. Just let this … fact … detonate inside your mind. Go ahead. Take a moment. Concentration camps.
You are in conflict with this society. That is why you keep running away from it to search for peace. That’s why you meditate, looking for a quiet and peaceful mind. Why the fuck do you keep running away to the top of those mountains? Into caves? To Peru? To India? To Indonesia? To meditate? To do yoga? The world cannot be anything else but what it is. The whole game of culture, the play of society, this game is only an exercise in perfecting your pretensions.
Someone: Do you like music, Hash? Hash: Sure. Though, I much prefer the gnashing of beastly teeth, the oinks of excited pigs, the brayings of donkeys, the barking of dogs, or the neighing of elephants. You see, there is life in them. There is vitality. There is the force of existence. There is tremendous beauty in this. Music? Listening to music is a purely selfish and sensual activity. There is no life in this. Only the repetition of ‘thought culture’ which you have been conditioned to find “pleasing”.
Someone: Even Hymns? Tantra? Yantra? Mantra? Bhajans? Naat? Hamad? Hash: Yes. Everything. All of these silly things. Hymns, Mantra, and Bhajans etc. They are all of them for your silly God. And your God is the ultimate form of pleasure, a permanence of happiness which doesn’t exist in nature. Your God is unnatural, you goofy fuck. ￼:)
By giving money, the holy man, the spiritual guru, the psychologist, they control you, and by not giving money they control you. You see, for as long as there exists the desire for something from someone, there will always be someone out there to control you. Desire is the beginning of illusion.
You think I have insight? You’re a goofy fuck, you know that? Insights mean nothing. In any eventuality, in any moment of vitality, the man with insight operates exactly like anybody else. Tell me, has the psychologist solved for himself the problem that he’s trying to analyze? Has the guru found Nirvana? Has the holy man found God?
I noticed my thoughts in reaction to the Beatles song that came on the radio, “Can’t buy me love.” which got me pondering over their own lives. Just look. The Beatles could not love one another and ultimately had to split up, singing songs of love (to buy love psychologically) to make money to buy love (physically) was the only thing they had, you see? And they knew it.
“I will attack your pretensions. At first, you will hate me. Then you will feel empty, stripped, naked, and dead. However, later, when the armor of your ‘thought structure’ has collapsed in full, you will feel light, and come to realize that there is no such thing as love and hate.” Hash C Borgir
I see a problem in this. The problem is of division and of the conflict it produces. The problem is of fragmentation. The problem is of wholeness. The problem is of totality and the explicate order of Nature. The problem is of fragmentation of the mind and the implicate disorder.
After many hours of pondering it over, I think it still may sound deep, profound, worthwhile on the surface, but it is shallow, mechanical and repetitive.
Perhaps I require more hours of inquiry.
From time immemorial man has been aware of the functional autonomous nature of man, existent in fragmentary evidence, and has often projected a state of division which did not exist before the divorce between nature and man, between man and man. Man seeks wholeness through a sum of its parts. First man divides himself into parts, then he seeks wholeness through an assertion of the validity of the parts.
Surely, with careful attention, when one looks with a totality of perception this becomes obvious.
And while we’re talking of language, perhaps I should shed light on how deeply rooted the notion of wholeness is in the human psyche, and thus in our languages.
The world “health” in English is based on an ancient Anglo-Saxon world “hale” meaning “whole”. To be “healthy” is to be “whole”. This is also present in the Hebrew greeting “Shalom” or the ancient word “Shalem” meaning “wholeness” or “oneness” or “totality”.
In English, the word “holy” is based on the same Anglo-Saxon root “whole”. Which is, to be holy is to be psychologically whole. Which is why I always say that a truly “religious” mind is the only mind that can see the beauty of “what is”.
Man desires wholeness, because wholeness is deeply rooted within, yet thought causes fragmentation, and runs rampant, and man not knowing his mind any better, not watching the movement of thought as it moves about in the field of consciousness, lives in fragmentation. Thought generates fragmentation and then man seeks to be whole, playing games with language.
One simply cannot take this fragmentary view of the “self”. Tat Tvam Asi. Thou art That. Self is Whole. Atma = Brahma. Soul is the Ultimate Reality.
There is and cannot be division. These are constructs of thought, and thought only ever divides.
As soon as you have divided the white, it is no longer white, but its parts. Parts are then seen as bands of colors, and not white. Thus, parts do not make the whole. Whole can only make parts.
A relative perspective implies multiple relations in perception, therefore a divided perception.
Is the problem yet clear?
Colors are divided, otherwise, they would be colors you see. We see blending, but every wave exists separately. That’s the whole function of thought. It divides. Any wave moving through any field always produces a distortion within that field, and this distortion always divides.
Look, the only reason I see ‘colors’ is that of ‘thought’, a response of memory, via conditioning. Otherwise, you see, I cannot know.
Light remains to be light, but thought divides the being and thus is born perception. Fragmented perception. See, with a total perception, you cannot know.
The only time knowledge is born is when you have a fragmentary perception.
Right, so when the concept of perspectives vanishes, so does wholeness and division. Then the organism is free to be as natural as as it will be.
As long as there exists self, it will divide, and then seek wholeness.
There is the absolute reality, mate. That fixed point of ALL activity. The central axis for all orientation. Yet, having no center or activity, this fixed point, this obelisk of might, this standing stoned, this meeting point between heavan and Earth, that absolute reality is you.
However, the ‘self’ cannot realize this. The ‘self’ is only ever generated upon division. It is the outcome of division. Division must already have happened in order for the self to exist. Only the self percieves.
When there is no self, there is no center of activity. One is then the central fixex axis of the Universe, and the “wholly other” is manifested within.
See, it is the “wholly” other. Not other in part, but in totality.